Sunday, December 4, 2011

Worse Than Nightmares

I had a few dreams last night, there were really horrible, but they weren't scary like a nightmare. Are these still considered nightmares though? To me, they felt worse than nightmares. The feelings given to me by these dreams were so real it was horrible. The rage from the first dream makes me want to find these people and kill them, even though it was a dream. The sadness and heartbreak from the second dream still lingers and depresses me. I guess my mind released the emotional chemicals in my brain since in my dream I really thought this was all happening.

Dream One
I was driving home on a motor cycle for some reason and pulled into my driveway. I went inside and saw my girlfriend home chatting with my brother about something. She said she was going to send sexy pictures of herself to all the guys at work and I told her not to, and if she did I would be furious and have to go knock each and every one of them out. While I was wrestling with her to get her phone away from her, my brother sent the pictures to all of the guys. I looked at them and they were very bad and I completely lost it. I started screaming at her and at him, asking her why the hell she would send pictures like that to other guys. I asked her if she would like it if I sent naked pictures of myself to other girls and she said no. Logic was failing her in this dream. I went on facebook and started seeing all these guys commenting on her and trying to get with her and I flipped out. I started to find out where all these guys lived and got their numbers. I called them up and told them that if they didn't cut it out and delete the pictures I was going to give them the worst beating of their lives. One of them laughed at me and told me to bring it on. I remember screaming so loud in anger. I think I went to leave the house to go mess him up, but the dream ended before I could.

Dream Two
I was at my dad's house doing something that I can't remember. Eventually, we were out in the front yard, playing around, and I got a phone call from some college who wanted me to attend. I told them I was interested in the programs that they had, but I was at a school that I loved and wasn't going to leave it. I told them that maybe after I graduated if I wanted to get a degree in their programs I would, but I wasn't interested right now. While this was going on, my little cousins were playing around and this girl who lives across the street come over to hang out. I used to have a huge crush on her when I was little. She started playing with my cousin and they were having a lightsaber battle with those really cool realistic looking lightsabers, and I wanted to get off the phone as soon as possible so I could join them (though in real life, this girl is the complete opposite of nerd). The person on the phone told me that he was screwed because his job depended on me joining their college.. For some reason at that point some big body guard type guy appeared at the house. He told me if I didn't join the college he was going to beat me up. I told him to bring it on. He started swinging at me but before I hit him I asked how old he was. He told me he was 10. He did kind of look like a giant 10 year old. Since he was so young, I didn't feel right about hitting him, despite the fact that he was trying to kill me. I avoided his attacks until eventually I thought my way out of it. I told him a way that he could make money off other people that would give the company a lot of money, and they wouldn't need me to join. He thanked me and left.
After that, I went to hang out with my cousin and neighbor and I told her that when I was little, I used to make up all kinds of games about monsters. I told her that I had a golden book that I would write all sorts of stuff down about them, and she told me that she wanted to see it. I started looking for it and I got a phone call from my girlfriend saying that her mom had died. I had this feeling of absolute dread come over me, but then I thought to myself that it wasn't real and kept looking for the book. A little while later I found it and some woman called me and asked when the funeral service was. At that point, I kind of broke down and started crying. I had this rush of memories and images in my head, wondering what my girlfriend was feeling, knowing that life couldn't ever be the same. It was the worst thing that I have ever felt (if you knew my girlfriend and her mom, you could understand why). I kind of sat there, just at a loss. The neighbor girl came over to me and gave me the book back and told me she had to leave, so I said goodbye. I flipped through the book and saw that on a lot of the pages, I was detailing how much of a crush I had on her when I was little, and felt stupid for showing her the book. I called my girlfriend to see how she was doing and she was pretty torn up. In the back of my head, I still had the anger towards her from the previous dream so I was thinking she might kill herself since we had a fight (even though in this dream I didn't know what we had been fighting about) and her mom just died. I told her I would be home soon, and got into my car to drive home.

1 comment:

  1. The only time my dreams are this bad are when I'm really stressed out. Maybe you need to relax before sleeping.